Don't Negotiate, Mediate with Students

Most faculty hate the end of the semester, when students start asking them if they could come in and “discuss” their grades. We all know this usually means “Can you give me a better grade?” Many faculty will flat out say that they “Don't negotiate”. Others add bolded, underlined, red statements in their syllabi in order to set expectations about grade changes. With that said, we know that students today are being brought up in a world where everything is negotiable, some cultures encourage it, and it doesn't hurt to ask. I’ve found that using some best practices from the business industry, help me get through these difficult situations.

In its most simple form, a negotiation is a bargain, where both parties take a side, sometimes meet in the middle, and usually leave the table frustrated. Bargaining in a class means that a student does C level work, but asks for an A. You get frustrated, and to agree to give them a B just to get them out of your office. But it doesn't have to be this 'win/lose' solution.

I prefer an approach called “mediation”, where both sides can leave the table feeling satisfied. Here are some tips for what I do:

• Set Up The Meeting: Agree to meet with the student, but begin set a specific time limit. My suggestion is 20 minutes. Make sure you let students know that you will do a hard stop at the end of 20 minutes, and make your final decision. Once that decision is made, you will not be meeting with them again on this subject.
• Do your “Prep” Work: Take a few minutes to look over their grades, read their email, and become familiar with the issue. I write down a couple of questions for the student. Businesses take time to decide if they feel the relationship is worth building, or if it is a one-time transaction. Faculty need to think about the long term relationship with the student. Is the student going to take future classes in the department, are they going to be doing innovative research, would they make a good TA next year? Is this a relationship that would be good to continue?
• Focus, Trust, and Clear Expectations: Tell students this is a good faith effort to see if the issue can be resolved. Be sure to portray an open, friendly and respectful tone. Do not be distracted by emails, calls, or others waiting to see you. Help students understand the consequences of this meeting not going well. How will it affect them in the future? Ask them "What outcome beyond the grade would they like to see?" or "What they would do in your situation?" Let them know that you value this opportunity to know them better.
• Listening is Critical. You should let the student do most of the talking. Allow them to vent their frustrations in a constructive way without you getting defensive or too quickly disagreeing. You will not be successful if you appear to humiliate, intimidate, or pound the desk to get a point across. Try to stay in a neutral position, not agreeing or disagreeing with their statements.
• Look for Connections. Find opportunities to agree with the student, compliment them, and comment on shared interests.
• Use Open-ended Questions. Just like in the classroom, here are some types of questions that may be helpful:
• Clarifying- get a student to discuss specific evidence and examples to support their claims. "Based on what you know, what were the objectives of this assignment?"
• Probing- Get to the heart of the issue and what they were feeling. "When you received the low score on your test, what actions did you take?"
• No Tangents. Keep the student focused on the specific issue. If they start going off course, or are not allowing you to inject comments, ask them a closed question (yes or no) that stops them for a second, and allows you to guide them in a different directions.
• Summarize It is critical that you stop and summarize what you heard them say, what the issue is, and what they would like you to do. Confirm that you have that information correct before proceeding.
• Decide. Make a clear decision, and give students a compliment.
• Example "I've heard your comments, I appreciate your desire to get a better grade, but I'm not going to change the grade because you are not able to show me that you are proficient in this topic. I believe that you and I share some common interests... and I look forward to seeing you in future classes. You have a lot to offer, and I'd like to be able to help you reach your goals here."

This technique takes some practice, and won’t always go smoothly. I’ve had students come to me later, and thank me for taking this approach with them. I use it for selfish reasons. It gives me an organized approach for dealing with these stressful situations.

Now it’s your turn....How do you approach these meetings? What are some tips you have for these situations?